Growing Up

Last updated on January 20, 2023

When I was twelve years old, I remember having a tear-soaked conversation with my mother and saying to her, “I don’t want to grow up.”  I remember a smirk on her face and confusion.  She asked me why.  I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I do remember the feelings of it.  I remember that I didn’t want to have to do the hard, responsible, even vulnerable things that maturity require.

I think I’m going through another season like that in my life.  I’m forty years old and encountering some “time to be mature” moments.  As my therapist reminds me, I have a choice to engage and lean in to the hard things or to walk away.  I’m not entirely sure what I will do.  I don’t think I’ll walk away.  That would go against my character.  But I do find it “easy” to just allow time to pass without changing or leaning in or standing strong.  I feel inept in a lot of ways. 

Perfectionism, maybe?  Fear of failure, for sure. 

For example, I want to be an excellent mom who understands her children and who makes sure they know how much they are loved and valued, not just by me, but by the world.  I truly believe each of my children are God’s gift to the world.  They each are God’s gift to me, as well.  They matter so very very much.  I don’t want to screw this up because they are so valuable.

And yet, in my hesitation, I do screw this up.

Both can exist at the same time.  The solution is to lean in, to push in, to grow up.  Just like twelve-year-old Angela did.  Maybe I’m actually moving into adulthood now. Who knows?

Or what if this whole life is a process of growing up?  Seems to make sense to me considering how often the Bible records God’s people, and even Jesus, himself, talking about maturity.

A quick search of the word “mature” in the CSB brings us to the Greek word ‘teleios’.  According to Strongs, it is defined as:

τέλειος téleios, tel’-i-os; from G5056; complete (in various applications of labor, growth, mental and moral character, etc.); neuter (as noun, with G3588) completeness:—of full age, man, perfect.

It is used twenty times in seventeen verses in the CSB.  In ten of those places, it is rendered as “mature” in the English.  It is rendered as “perfect” in nine and “adult” in one.

So why do they need to tell us so often that we need to become mature, perfect, fully grown?  Because it’s difficult.  And we need reminders that it’s worth all that difficulty to reach full maturity.  It is the process of growing in Christlikeness as well.  He was fully mature (rendered “perfect” in the CSB) and charges us to be mature as he is mature.

How does a child grow in maturity?  By obeying her authorities and learning from that obedience.  Sometimes the authorities are wise, and sometimes they are not. Both are opportunities for learning

The great news is that God, Jesus, the Spirit, our authority is always wise.  He can be completely trusted.  Whatever it is he is challenging us to grow into, no matter how we may resist it in our flesh and even our immature spirits, it is still the best choice we could possibly make.  And when we are bold and faith-filled and move forward in those places despite our inhibitions, we discover on the other side of them that they were indeed good.

So, back to my twelve year old self. And my forty year old self. I am still a child and today the term “Child of God” rings truer than perhaps it does on other days.  We are all children.  Still moving toward maturity.  And some days we’re not going to want to grow up because it is difficult. And it hurts. And we’ll have to deal with our own immaturity. We’ll have moments where we see how immature we are, and it will not feel good. But it’s also okay. Because children are expected to act like children. As long as we are pursuing the process of growing up and not remaining as children, we are on the good path anyway.

Friends, maturity is so much better than remaining immature and ignorant of the life Christ gives.  Those who are maturing in him are given greater responsibility.  Just look at the parable of the talents told by Jesus to the people.  It’s a lesson in maturity.  She who is mature in what has been given will be given even more because she has demonstrated (mostly to herself, really) that she is ready to be given more and will handle it well.

It is an honor to grow in maturity.  It is the way of life.  Mature vines bear fruit.  Immature vines that never reach maturity are pruned off and thrown into the fire.