When We ASK

Last updated on January 19, 2023

Thank you for joining me for this second post in the ASK series! If you missed the previous post in which we discussed why we can ask and asking in Jesus’ name, check it out here.

At the end of that post, we introduced the question, “How do we know if what we are asking really brings honor to Jesus and to the Father?” To explore that question, we will be visiting six different passages today!

Let’s jump in, shall we?

What to ask

How do we know if what we are asking really brings honor to Jesus and to the Father? It leads back to relationship.  We need to walk with and know Jesus, how he loves God and how he loves people, to understand what requests he wants associated with his name.

We spent some time talking through the idea of remaining in God’s love in a previous post when we discussed fear. The same concept applies when we are seeking to ask that which is worthy of his name.

Here’s what Jesus says:

I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. Every branch in me that does not produce fruit he removes, and he prunes every branch that produces fruit so that it will produce more fruit. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I in you. Just as a branch is unable to produce fruit by itself unless it remains on the vine, neither can you unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without me. If anyone does not remain in me, he is thrown aside like a branch and he withers. They gather them, throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you want and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this: that you produce much fruit and prove to be my disciples.

John 15:7-8 CSB

Are we remaining in him, and his words remaining in us?  Consider how branches on a vine produce fruit because they are connected to the vine.  As branches, are we producing fruit that comes from the vine of Jesus? 

Good spiritual fruit in our lives is the evidence that we are, indeed, remaining in him.  As we continue remaining in him, being pruned by the Father, and increasing the good fruit, we also increasingly understand the perspective with which Jesus wants us to ask. When we ask from that fruit-laden perspective, we can boldly ask in His name and know that He and the Father are glorified in what we ask.

In another place in the same gospel writing, Jesus says a similar thing in a different way:

Truly I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do. And he will do even greater works than these, because I am going to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, I will do it so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.

John 14:12-14 CSB

When we believe in Jesus, we do the works that he did: love people in the same way that He loves them (this is directly related to spiritual fruit).  When we are walking forward in this sort of love, what we desire to ask will become aligned with his desires, and therefore bring honor to Jesus’s name. He says he will do it so that the Father may be glorified.

Now without faith it is impossible to please God, since the one who draws near to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.

Hebrews 11:6 CSB

This is the confidence we have before him: If we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears whatever we ask, we know that we have what we have asked of him.

1 John 5:14-15 CSB

We must first believe he exists, then seek to draw near to him and know him, and trust that he rewards those who seek him.  If we are seeking him, and asking that which furthers our intimacy with him, he will always answer.  No matter how hard the question, or tumultuous the emotions, he hears, and he answers the heart that earnestly seeks him.  That always honors the name of Jesus, and he grants us power in his name. 

Let’s look now at what Jesus told his disciples when they were amazed at his power to cause a fig tree to shrivel up at die at his command.  The following passages are retellings of the same incident through two different gospel writers.  The timing of the withering of the fig tree does not align, but the point of the action and Jesus’s words to them do.

Early in the morning, as he was returning to the city, he was hungry. Seeing a lone fig tree by the road, he went up to it and found nothing on it except leaves. And he said to it, “May no fruit ever come from you again! ” At once the fig tree withered.  When the disciples saw it, they were amazed and said, “How did the fig tree wither so quickly? ”  Jesus answered them, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you tell this mountain, ‘Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ it will be done.  And if you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”

Matthew 21:18-22 CSB

Early in the morning, as they were passing by, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots up. Then Peter remembered and said to him, “Rabbi, look! The fig tree that you cursed has withered.”  Jesus replied to them, “Have faith in God. “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, everything you pray and ask for — believe that you have received it and it will be yours. And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven will also forgive you your wrongdoing.

Mark 11:20-25 CSB

The focus, here, is not on believing we will get what we’ve asked for like the Father is a vending machine and is obligated to answer our questions.  In fact, what one person asks for and what another person asks for may conflict and God would not grant both requests.  The focus of our asking is in loving and believing the one who answers and gives, remembering that he desires to reward and care for those who seek to honor him.

In response to this lived-out belief, God grants us great power.  Yet we must be careful never to separate that power from its source or from the relationship that grants us access to that source.  For in that we become gods of our own making and we cease to bring glory to Jesus in our asking. Whatever we ask must always go through the filter of, “does this bring honor to Jesus?”

How to Ask

There are as many preferences for how to pray as there are people. The New Testament gives a few guidelines for our asking that I think are helpful to discuss, regardless of preference.

In faith, without doubting. 

We’ve already covered this first one, but I figured I’d put one more verse here for good measure because it explains it a little more:

Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God — who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly — and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith without doubting. For the doubter is like the surging sea, driven and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord, being double-minded and unstable in all his ways.

James 1:5-8 CSB

This begs the question, “what about when I’m not really sure I can believe, but I want to?”  Well, Jesus encountered a man in his ministry who had just the same challenge we do with our waxing and waning faith and doubts.  This father came to Jesus to ask for healing for his son.  Notice that Jesus picks up on the “if” in the father’s request and addresses it.  Then notice what the boy’s father says and that Jesus still grants the request of the man with wavering faith.

“How long has this been happening to him? ” Jesus asked his father. “From childhood,” he said. “And many times it has thrown him into fire or water to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.”  Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’? Everything is possible for the one who believes.”  Immediately the father of the boy cried out,“I do believe; help my unbelief! “  When Jesus saw that a crowd was quickly gathering, he rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, “You mute and deaf spirit, I command you: Come out of him and never enter him again.”  Then it came out, shrieking and throwing him into terrible convulsions. The boy became like a corpse, so that many said, “He’s dead.” But Jesus, taking him by the hand, raised him, and he stood up.

Mark 9:21-27 CSB

I don’t know about you, but this passage encourages me so much.  It reminds me that I don’t have to drum up enough faith to have my asking heard and answered.  Jesus knows what sort of creatures we are, and he knows our hearts. He knows the measure of our faith and he knows when we are asking to the limits of it.  And then he helps our unbelief.

That’s good news right there.

As we are, without show.

Whenever you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites, because they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by people. Truly I tell you, they have their reward. But when you pray, go into your private room, shut your door, and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. When you pray, don’t babble like the Gentiles, since they imagine they’ll be heard for their many words. Don’t be like them, because your Father knows the things you need before you ask him.

Matthew 6:5-8 CSB

Jesus tells us not to pray out in public with the purpose to be seen by man or rewarded by man’s attentions.  Nor, to raise flowery prayers in hopes of appealing to God by flattery. God is not foolish. Instead, he tells us to pray in our own private spaces and our Father sees us and will reward us, and that He already knows what we need before we ask, so the extra words are useless, anyway.  

He wants us asking genuinely as we are, nothing more.

In vulnerability and boldness.

He also said to them: “Suppose one of you has a friend and goes to him at midnight and says to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I don’t have anything to offer him.’ Then he will answer from inside and say, ‘Don’t bother me! The door is already locked, and my children and I have gone to bed. I can’t get up to give you anything.’ I tell you, even though he won’t get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his friend’s shameless boldness, he will get up and give him as much as he needs.  So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. 

Luke 11:5-10 CSB

One of the things I really enjoy about this passage is the man on the inside of the door.  I can relate to his grumbling, after bedtime, after it took for.ev.er. to get the kids to bed, when his friend knocks on the door.  The last thing he wants to do is get up out of his bed.  I imagine him answering from the inside, under his breath, “Don’t bother me!”  Jesus says that “even though he won’t get up and give him anything because he is his friend…” meaning friendship wasn’t a good enough reason for the man to get up.

Then the other man, the friend, who knows his buddy is sleeping, goes in the middle of the night with a very real need and asks, even though he knows it will disturb his friend. What a vulnerable position!

Sometimes we can feel vulnerable in our need, too. It may even stop us from asking because we feel weak, or we don’t want to inconvenience God. But I imagine this man trusts his sleeping friend enough to believe that his request will be granted, despite the oddness of the hour and circumstance.  Perhaps we can believe this of the Father in our vulnerability as well?

Jesus says, “…yet, because of his friend’s shameless boldness, he will get up and give him as much as he needs.”  I have to admit, that if a friend of mine came and knocked on my door, persistently, in the middle of the night, I’d get up, even if it weren’t my first inclination or even desire. Jesus is using this very relatable example with his disciples to explain how the Father responds to us when we ask. 

Except God doesn’t sit behind his heavenly door and look at our requests as if they are a nuisance he’d rather not deal with. No, he is always ready to freely do what we ask when it aligns with his plans for us and for the world we live in.

Next time, we’ll talk about how he answers and the role the Holy Spirit plays in our asking. For now, we should grasp onto the truth that Jesus tells us to ask anytime, even at odd times or in odd circumstances with shameless boldness, knowing that the Father will hear and answer. 

Share Your Story

Do you struggle to know if your asking brings honor to God? How has today’s discussion helped or challenged that struggle? What has your experience of “how to ask” been in your life? Has today’s post caused any changes in your perspective? In what way?

Let us know down in the comments!